Jesus shit-gurgling Christ. GBV and they’re SUPPORTED by Malkmus and the Jicks? I am going to have this town’s babies

Jesus shit-gurgling Christ. GBV and they’re SUPPORTED by Malkmus and the Jicks? I am going to have this town’s babies

On the weekend, I was at a country town pub with a mate, having a beer. A local bloke gave us a bit of lip, we told him to fuck off, and then we sat down and watched the rugby on the tv.

Delightful. After the game, we were chatting to a couple of local women about nothing important, and generally having a good craic.

The guy from earlier on came up to me.

"That’s a fucking hipster beard, mate."

Hmm.

"That’s pretty bold for a man wearing that ridiculous hat."

He kinda looked upwards and then turned to one of the local women and said “What’s wrong with my hat?”

My mate and I finished our pints and walked back to the house where we were staying.

"Fuck, man," I said as we walked along the gravel road, "can you fucking believe that guy?"

My mate turned to me and said dryly, “Yeah. You completely bitch-slapped him. Well done, slugger.”

It’s important to have mates who call you on your bullshit. And let’s be honest, this beard is starting to want its own unicycle.

Every time Erin goes abroad without me and gets a burner sim card, I assign it a new name in my address book.

Anyhow, have you met my girlfriend?

Her name Is Bunghole Frealsies.

,.÷

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