October 2009
Movember
lubranoexposed:
Ross (@indefensible) I just tried to donate to your movember site and they said “Modown, mo no mo go” Cute, huh?
Anywho - I will keep trying back!!
Aw, thanks! I think they’re getting a hell of a lot of traffic. Mostly from people who want to see exactly how hideous I am sans beard!
Thanks for the support – it all goes to two great causes.
Why’s the man on the sitcom always so f-ing fat...
themenguide:
Question submitted by molokovellocet: The American multi-camera situational comedy is a respected and venerated part of our culture. From The Honeymooners and I Love Lucy, to Cheers and Seinfeld, sitcoms have provided millions of viewers with - oh for fuck’s sake, I sound like a Discovery Channel commercial.
Look, what you need to understand is that all of the great sitcoms are...
"No more explaining where the photos were taken!" →
This company takes your photographs of loved-ones in prison, then photoshops them into nicer locales, like the gazebo in your back-yard.
Underneath which a bunch of bodies are buried, one assumes.
I am very sorry, but this is rolled gold.
There is a growing movement of pharmacists... →
(via syntheticpubes)
There have been a few pharmacists (a very few) try this shit in Australia, and each time they have done it the government has made not-so-subtle hints about reforming the law so as to deregulate the laws regarding pharmacies. For example, supermarkets would love the right to operate pharmacies. This would ruin most owner-operated pharmacies.
The issue always disappears once...
I always thought a fun business would be Gangsta...
It would be called Biggie’s Smalls.
“The US is expected to emerge from its longest recession since the second world...”
– From The Guardian.
A surprisingly strong forecast. Where I’m sitting, I don’t even know anyone who knows someone who’s been doing better lately. To the contrary, this month I continue to hear about friends, relatives and acquaintances being laid off.
(via adamisacson)
I think I saw the first...
If you want proof that we live in the future, then... →
You speak to your iPhone in English, and the motherfucker says what you said ONLY IN SPANISH.
Yes, this is a real-live thing you can buy.
If you guys knew exactly how damned vain I am... →
So yeah, I’ve had a beard or a goatee for about 8 or 9 years now. It’s what my face looks like. I can’t remember what is even under all this fuzz.
But I’m going to find out. See, Movember raises money for prostate cancer research and also for funding programs that deal with depression in men. My dad has prostate cancer, and that’s making me pretty depressed, so I...
“The only people who think there is no such thing as bad pizza are people who...”
– Nobody should let me have an audience. I write nonsense.
The Men Guide . Us
If you happen to be that one guy who I like a lot...
I do not wish a hair-metal raping on you. But Tommy Lee is his own man so I recommend keeping one eye in the rear-vision mirror.
Because I will complain about this until the...
Dear Apple,
fuck you in the rectum with a stick in which shards of glass and frozen hepatitis have been embedded, because damn fuck shit why do you not have a god-damn fucking cunt-balls to-do list on the iPhone?
Fuck.
My fucking Palm IIIe could do this, oh, in jizzing NINETEEN NINETY EIGHT, which was LAST FUCKING MILLENIUM.
I hope that when Tommy Lee visits your bed he is not gentle.
Here is a thing.
In my entire life, I have never met a woman who (in a romantic setting) did not respond well to the idea that she was in some way dainty or diminutive in stature. Even when, and sometimes especially when, this was evidently untrue.
I’m not saying that they key to getting a woman into bed is to say “damn girl, you’re one tiny bitch’, but more that women seem to like it when...
“Question time is dominated by 78 people on a boat. We have around 50,000 visa...”
– Paul Howse, quoted in The Age.
If the 1930’s were today, I think things would be different. Mussolini would call himself Il Ducé, and we’d all be “more like Ill Douché amirite”, and so when he invaded Abyssinia we’d all change our Twitter Avatars to be a picture of a Lion (representing Haile Selassie) and that would have made Ill Douché sad.
I think in this alternate universe Mussolini probably...
I was whining about my career and suggested we...
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“Where are we going to go? To the magical land of vaginas and cake?”
Yeah yeah yeah, I know I’m reblogging my own blog but this is one of the things that she says that for some reason gets me every time. In one phrase she skewers my self pity but redirects me to some kind of Xanadu so I don’t noticed the evisceration.
Then I remember that I don’t much...
"YOU PUT IN OTHER DETAILS"
That’s the best part. Delegate the details.
Atheists are good humans, too. →
In which James Richmond dismantles Dvir Abramovich piece by nonsensical piece.
“Nice white people give money and time to charity. Or at least they say they do....”
– Catherine Deveney in The Age.
Aid | child sponsorship | Third World | Catherine Deveny
“I don’t even know if he blinked, this kid whom I’d just schooled in the...”
– I’ll show you my blog.: Sensor Blocked
The real reason I don’t want to stay friends with people I’ve broken up with is that I already have tons of friends who I don’t fuck and I’m not looking for more.
“Sure, the site was ugly, and, of course, Yahoo paid too much for it (though it...”
– How GeoCities invented the modern Internet. - By Farhad Manjoo - Slate Magazine
iainwith2is:
Considering the kerfuffle last year, I was surprised to see an ad for St Jerome’s laneway festival.
I was even more surprised, or bemused, to see that it’s not in St Jerome’s laneway or even NEAR the CBD - it’s in bloody Footscray!
It’s Jerome’s festival and he can out it anywhere he wants. And given last year’s fiasco, I’m not surprised he wants it...
“Mr Watson said yesterday the use of a racially-loaded word for a chocolate and...”
– Yep. Not a lot of people know that from 1933 onwards, Hitler decreed that bagels would be called üntermenschenbröten, or ‘sub-humanoid-bread’. Once people accepted that name change, it was just a hop, skip, and jump to Auschwitz.
Coles ‘racist ’ biscuit backdown | Creole...
A brief abreaction
delgrosso:
You are not a close friend or a member of my immediate family, nor do you have any influence whatsoever on whether or not I get paid for my work.
So tell me again why I should give a tinker’s damn about what you think about me or anything I create.
Because I’m a thought leader.
Chew on that.
Yeah, I’m a beacon of influence in a world of soapy tit-wank.
Fear my...
“The HSV Maloo’s claimed fuel average is 15.1L/100km, yet the high performance...”
– V8, turbo on track for ‘Green Challenge’ glory
Wait! Omar is GAY?
Thanks, arseholes.
On relativists
Pick a side you fence-sitting arseholes. Damn.
In the real world, charities need to spend money... →
This article about charity muggers appeared in today’s newspaper. I saw no charity muggers in the Melbourne CBD today at all. Normally I see at least 20 on my street alone.
Sometimes I read the things that I’ve written and I think I come off as a foul-mouthed government-cheese Richard Meltzer.
That does not upset me.
“Tina Beatie in her book The New Atheists: The Twilight of Reason and the War of...”
– Er, no. Not ironic. Ms Beatie is just wrong. And you’re a fool for quoting her, Dvir.
Atheism | anti-religion | Christopher Hitchins | Richard Dawkins | Dvir Abramovich
So I just wrote something for The Men Guide. →
It feels good to be the token old dude.
Yes, Black Women Play Lacrosse →
The Root answers a question I had never thought to ask.
Of the things that mark us as distinct from our North American cousins, I like our non-observance of Halloween the best.
If I want to see one of my friends’ girlfriends in slutty attire I’ll do it the old-fashioned way and buy her too many drinks on Oaks Day.