Who needs a unifying theme anyway?

Like most little brothers, we live in your shadow. It was our former prime minister Sir Robert Muldoon who said New Zealand was founded by those who had the initiative to escape from Australia, but it’s perhaps no surprise that a lot of us are flying across the ditch to break back inside. We have nobody who looks even remotely like Lara Bingle. The Wollongong RSL’s social cricket squad would trounce our national side. You earn more than us. You get more sun. How can we compete? Yet, apparently, all this isn’t enough; you then go and adopt virtually all gifted Kiwis as Australian - Russell Crowe, Split Enz, John Clarke, Phar Lap, the pavlova. That’s why we invented Tall Poppy Syndrome - so that the moment a fellow Kiwi becomes successful enough to be misappropriated by you Aussies, we’ve already disowned them.