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Who needs a unifying theme anyway?

I also do Stuff My Girlfriend Says which is a lot funnier than this. Mostly because my girlfriend is funnier than me.

Recent Tweets @indefensible

apocalypse-pie:

Mr H is a charming British friend of mine. He’s comically polite, full of that funky English wit & of course, has the kickass accent. He’s a Londoner, has an awesome job, and makes a very, very tidy living. And he likes pregnant women. That’s nice isn’t it? Pregnant women are cool, I like ‘em too. They’re big & round & they’ve got babies in their gooey center.Except I don’t want to dick them. Dude, you own the largest collection of preggo & lactation porn I’ve ever seen & you know what? I think you’re awesome & I salute you in your noble quest to love as many already obviously loved up ladies as you can.
I’m not trawling Lemaze classes for single moms with you though. Just because you bought a girl (PS, I’m not pregnant & don’t look it thankyouverymuch) doesn’t make it any less weird that you’re getting a boner off imagining some form of weird maternal love-in/breast milk orgy.
You know what, it really felt kinda wrong writing that last line. And I very rarely say that.

Mr H is a charming British friend of mine. He’s comically polite, full of that funky English wit & of course, has the kickass accent. He’s a Londoner, has an awesome job, and makes a very, very tidy living. And he likes pregnant women. That’s nice isn’t it? Pregnant women are cool, I like ‘em too. They’re big & round & they’ve got babies in their gooey center.

Except I don’t want to dick them. Dude, you own the largest collection of preggo & lactation porn I’ve ever seen & you know what? I think you’re awesome & I salute you in your noble quest to love as many already obviously loved up ladies as you can.

I’m not trawling Lemaze classes for single moms with you though. Just because you bought a girl (PS, I’m not pregnant & don’t look it thankyouverymuch) doesn’t make it any less weird that you’re getting a boner off imagining some form of weird maternal love-in/breast milk orgy.

You know what, it really felt kinda wrong writing that last line. And I very rarely say that.